Life's discoveries...

Ugh...isn't spring break supposed to be relaxing? Mine hasn't been. Don't get me wrong, I got to spend nearly a whole week of quality time with my beautiful, amazing, sweet, gorgeous girlfriend at home in MI with my fam, but as is true of any large family(9 sibs + 2 parents + 2 spouses + 2 girlfriends and 1 little wiener dog = INSANITY), there is much drama. So much happened, and as I thought "this family is messed up", I realized how messed up I am. I realized that even as a Christian, I am hateful, hurtful, bitter, lustful and very selfish. It made me realize how if God has changed me to this point, and I am still like this, how far has he brought me from?
As, I contemplated my screwed upnesss, I couldn't help but ask the questions? How am I going to go into ministry, if I don't have my act cleaned up? Will I ever be good enough? Why do I ever try to do anything without God's help? Sometimes( and lately this has been very true), I feel like I don't have an ounce of Jesus in me. Do you know that feeling? If you are a Christian, I know you do. The awesome thing is, even in the midst of my sin, and frustration, God has not even come close to stopping showing me his love. My girlfriend is an awesome example of this. For the last 18 months, she has put up with me, forgiven me, believed in me and encouraged me. It hasn't always been easy to take, but she has lovingly delivered God's message of grace and hope in my life. I love this verse in Psalm 40:

Many, O LORD my God, are the wonders
you have done. The things you planned for
us no one can recount to you;
were I to speak and tell of them,
they would be too many to declare.

I feel like this is very true in my life. God has done so much and is teaching me so much, its painful and uncertain, but I will trust that He is molding me and shaping me. Its always easy to say those words, but its a lot harder when they are actually true of your life right now. I watched The Princess Bride yesterday, its such a great movie, but one quote stuck out to me "Life is pain highness, anyone who says different is selling something". Sometimes I feel like Christians sell the world a "painless" Christianity, and so I just want to set the record straight. IT HURTS. But God is greater than any pain that we go through. This is something that I have to discover every day.

Pete

Hello Effingham!

Lol...weird title I know, but it really is the name of a town in Illinois. This last weekend, Josh, a friend and I went on an insane trip to Mississippi to surprise my girlfriend at a softball tourney that she was playing in. It was 13 hours away and we left on Friday night and arrived on sat morning. After a quick stop at McDonald's, we sought out the campus where we thought the tourney was going to be played. After finding the college, but not the team, we found out that we had past it about five miles before, it wasn't our fault that they rent a field 5 miles away! So off we went, and arrived about an half-hour earlier than the team did. This allowed me to scope out the situation, in order to achieve the biggest surprise. After the girls arrived, I walked up to the team as they were getting unpacked and there was my beautiful girlfriend! Needless to say she was surprised!
Well, we got to watch the last three games of the tourney, unfortunetly, they went 0-8 and got really sunburnt(as did I). So at about 3:30pm, we headed for home. Josh and I followed them as far as Cracker Barrel(yummy). We had some minor car trouble and so we decided to make the rest of the trip on our own. Our original plans called for us to drive straight home, but by the time we got to (thats right) Effingham, we realized we were just too tired. So we spent the night in a cheap motel and finished the trip on Sunday afternoon. All told, we drove approx 1700 miles(including the circles we did in Jackson) in a beat up little 1991 Dodge Shadow. That just goes to show the power of prayer! Was it worth it? Oh yeah. I love my girlfriend and would do anything for her...even a 1700 mile trip to Effingham! :)